I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
