i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize