who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
