Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
