No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
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