chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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