spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
areolas are like halos for boobs.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
