I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
Randomize
