The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
