i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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