I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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