I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
