Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize