FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
