Do you still have your period?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
