just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
