Say something about gay babies.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
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