so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Hello my rib-scented angel!
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