May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
