You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You've changed since you got that strap on
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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