HIV tests are more positive than that guy
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
