i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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