I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
