love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
