i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
P.S. I can't hear my feet
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
Randomize
