i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
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