Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize