I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize