my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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