I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
You were trust falling into bushes
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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