So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That accounts for only three of the penises
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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