So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize