Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
