Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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