Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
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