I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
