Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
