That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
