You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
