no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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