guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
