Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
