i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
