That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
