using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
