I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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