I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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