oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
