the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Randomize
