that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
