i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
