If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
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