oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Randomize
