my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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