If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
