Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
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