Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Randomize
