How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
