I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
