that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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