SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
