one two three fourrrrnication!
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize