Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm like, not good at living.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
