I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
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