Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
