My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
