thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
