I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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